As we realize the gifts in the EQ sphere, we break open into the Pathway of Love:

This is a breaking open, because it’s a flooding of love that had been blocked for some time. Maybe not permanently, but certainly not to its fullest potential. It is said that this is the release of love from DNA.

If you look at the picture I have uploaded for the blog, it is the “Sword in the Stump”. In 2015, a now 150-year old white ash tree that was dying, was cut down to a stump in my local neighborhood. The following year, a local artist created a replica of Excalibur and installed it on the stump. This fixture had been around for 7 years, until just a couple days ago when the stump was entirely removed. There is symbolism in seeing that today and this blog, because it reminded me that only YOU can remove Excalibur from the dam of your Pathway of Love, and when you do…you become the royalty in the kingdom of your heart and soul; you claim it.

I also wanted to point out another correlation here, between the “dam” in the Pathway of Love and the cleansing of the pipes to allow the flow through the heart that Michael Singer speaks of in “Living Untethered”, with a visual here…

The Purpose sphere in the Activation Sequence - what deeply fulfills me. My Purpose sphere is the 11.5. Gene Key 11 goes from the Shadow of Obscurity, through the Gift of Idealism, to the Siddhi of Light. The 5th line in this sphere is about voice and frequency.

I certainly spent much of my life in obscurity. When I had already started off life by feeling like I was supposed to be somewhere else, it was a focus on all things outside of me. I think that’s natural as people come into this world, discovering all that this life is about…but all I had to go on INSIDE of me was a deep sense of being lost; so instead of paying attention to my internal feelings, I focused on trying to figure out what was going on externally. This was compounded by a volatile home environment in childhood, to where anticipation and anxiety and stress of what will go on around me became normal. It shouldn’t be this way, I thought. There were times I simply felt forgotten. When my parents would drop my brothers and I off at our grandma’s for the weekend, and it became almost every weekend, I caught on to what was their focus at the time. When I entered a 5k fun run around 6 years old with one of my brothers, and at the shot of the gun to start the race my brother took off leaving me in a sea of strangers, I began to cry and sat down by a tree.

This led to the creation of beliefs about myself, my value and existence, and ironically one of those was that I wasn’t creative. I’d see my mother, brothers, and friends paint and draw with a natural skill, and so I tried to as well - and it just didn’t go well. When I was young, if a blank canvas or white paper was put in front of me and I was prompted to paint or draw something, I couldn’t come up with anything at all. I wondered how it was possible that people did this…to create from seeming scratch, through their mind. Maybe I’m just not meant to be creative either. Every way that I WAS creative, I dismissed it from being creative, as if it wasn’t good enough to be creative. I did that…

The Radiance sphere - what keeps me healthy. My Radiance sphere is the 12.5. Gene Key 12 goes from the Shadow of Vanity, through the Gift of Discrimination, to the Siddhi of Purity. The 5th line theme is Impact, and the 5th line is also about voice and frequency. I go back many years ago in contemplation for this key.

In childhood, the struggle of feeling so different from the environment I grew up in was real. I didn’t have a concept of WHY I felt so different, it was just THERE. My parents used substances to cope with problems, and so did everyone else around them from what I could tell. There was the masking of “having a good time” applied to a lot of the get togethers and places we went, but it was easy or sense all the discord and pain in those around. I didn’t understand how it equated to “having a good time”…it felt inauthentic. Yet, it was everywhere, and when the vast majority of people around you are saying or doing something and you’re not, you tend to question yourself on whether you’re the one who has a problem. One may think, “come on, in childhood, you’d have been too young to partake in substances like that to even know what the experience was like for the adults”…and to that I would say, “not so.” I was introduced to alcohol at a very young age, had my first sips of beer when I was two (yes, I remember), tried some of my dad’s Bacardi and Coke when I told him I could handle it as a 3-4 year old, later into adolescence would have wine coolers on New Year’s Eves, and on and on through the early years. I smoked my first cigarette when I was six. Smoking didn’t stick, and alcohol was given a much longer period of chance in my life, but just wasn’t for me either. I tried some of these things, and I tried first in order to live in the world of those around me…

My journey into energy work started with Reiki in 2018. I was taking concepts that I had read about over the years (albeit at more of a “piquing, but quiet, interest” back then, when there wasn’t really anyone around to talk to about it), such as chakras and channels, and beginning to open up further and dig into how that energy moves through the body; how it gets stuck in places, and what getting stuck in certain places may mean; how that blockage of energy corresponded with being out of alignment with one’s inner being.

With Reiki being “universal life force energy”, and how we often practice forms of connecting and grounding meditations - where you visualize pure energy coming from the cosmos/universe down through your crown chakra, continuing through all the chakras in your body, filling every cell, down through your feet and into the Earth, and then back up through to the Universe, thus an energetic line between the Universe and Earth through you that flows both ways - I was then fascinated when learning about my Human Design type of being a Pure Generator, how I am to have access to consistent Sacral life force energy that is generated within every moment, and how these two aspects mesh together. I’m also going to explore some of the real world shadows I’ve experienced, and how understanding this design helps in accepting those.

I look at it this way: The universal life force energy is the fuel for our body, and it flows through the energy centers of our body. Our body is the vehicle we have in this lifetime, and our inner being is the driver of the vehicle. The egoic conditioned human part of us is riding shotgun (in the front passenger seat for clarity) and is either co-creating with the inner being to drive us where we want to go, or jumps in with its conditioned input and takes us off-course, out of alignment. From that, the Sacral Generator is simply either connected to the inner being and all of the universal life force energy available to it, or it is not connected, living in the not-self, and becoming frustrated. Much like the analogy I’ve used before - the sun is just there, shining its rays of energy, and you either choose to stand in them and soak them in, or you don’t…

Apples don’t fall far from the tree.

You’ve heard of this expression, no? It seems that more often than not, there is a negative connotation to this expression…one of when there is a perceived flaw, or bad behavior, or troubles, or lack of ambition and so on in children, they are deemed guilty by association to their parents or caregivers. While there is truth to a certain degree in this, there is an even deeper truth that lies within this expression, and it is one of hope and love…

You’re driving in your car, heading home from an appointment at the doctor’s office. All the tasks and errands for the rest of the day are running through your mind. I got the appointment done. Check. Just need to feed and walk the dog, pay this bill, mail that letter, and prepare dinner. You arrive at your house, and as you’re pulling into your driveway, a sheer panic sets over you. I don’t remember the last few miles of driving home! Did I stop at red lights and stop signs? How the hell did I even get here?…

This blog turned out to be a deeply inspired poem that poured out of my soul. Enjoy.

Did I miss a stop
When arriving at this place?
Did I sign on the dotted line
Of a contract for a soul with the wrong face?

Born into a family of partying
Smoking, drinking, loud music galore
It was easy for me to sense the pain
In the windows to their souls and behind their heart’s door…

Music is sent from radio station transmitters, through the air in the form of radio waves, 24/7. Not a single one of our five basic human senses experience the presence of those waves to know the contents. However, a receiver accepts those waves and outputs the music through speakers, to which our hearing sense then experiences the music.

We live in a physical world where we have become accustomed to relying on these five basic senses to tell us what exists, and what is “real”. Music sent over radio waves is one example, of many, that shows that things exist beyond our five senses. You can’t “tell” in your daily life that the radio waves are there, with music as the payload, but they are. Even if you don’t “believe” they are there, they are. You could walk around with the hard belief that because you don’t see/hear/smell/taste/touch them, then they don’t exist...but they do…

Tell me if any of this sounds remotely familiar:

You were born into a family where the environment was one you simply did not resonate with. You felt like an alien on earth, like you didn’t come from here and you didn’t belong here, and it was unwelcoming and foreign. It was not loving, it was tough. It was not kind, it was jagged. It was not easy, it was survival. Your parents never had money, and you were always barely getting by. Your childhood was full of contrast, sprinkled with spices that tasted like what you imagined “love” might feel like. It was difficult to discern whether or not the love was real, because there were many instances where it was clear that love was absent…

There are times in this physical life where forms of innocence are experienced. Most of those times can be linked back to some point in childhood. As we are born here, there is a purity in our essence, free from conditioning. We don’t know good from bad, right from wrong, or white from black. Everything just IS. Traumas and conditioning can happen pretty quickly, and often do, but there is a period of this blissful ignorance where we see things as they are, and have a blank canvas to paint on in our minds…even if we have yet to develop the ability to verbally articulate…