The Evolution sphere - what I’m here to learn. My Evolution sphere is the 36.3. Gene Key 36 goes from the Shadow of Turbulence through the Gift of Humanity to the Siddhi of Compassion. The keynotes for Line 3 when it comes to the Evolution sphere are “Energy and Experience” - that it is about the experiences had, and not the destination - and to “break out of need for attention/approval by doing things without agenda.” In the first blog of the series, I mentioned that I was born into an emotionally turbulent environment, and full of conflict. Conflict and Turbulence being the Shadow frequencies of these two spheres for me, it has been easy to see how these themes have played their roles from the start, and the desire to climb out of them. As a young child in that environment, I went through the repressive nature of the 36 - Nervousness. Trying to resist the turbulence happening outside, in addition to trying to find peace at any cost. At that period of life and in those situations, getting peace was whatever pleased the parents enough to diffuse their volatility, or getting away. There was constant anticipation of what could happen next. Of course, the external turbulence and conflict back then was out of my control, and I didn’t know that there was nothing I could do to release and integrate these energies for others - that was their work - but I also didn’t have the presence of mind to allow myself to feel the turbulence and release it. I was scared too many times, and nothing was changing it for the better. It was an automatic anxiety, a tensing up, whenever alcohol or any other substance was in the picture. Protect myself. The work later on became being aware of the patterned bodily reactions showing up when the environment was no longer the same, but similar energy in others was present. Through progression and time, I have practiced becoming the observer of these nervous and anxious energies inside of me when they surface, or when I’m confronted with them from the external…and grasping that I am not those energies, I am experiencing them. From this stable, calm, peaceful place of observation, I am able to respond with clarity, while creating and upholding boundaries to not allow myself to accept responsibility for what comes from the external; this is being able to release the tension and respond from an internal authority rather than the anxious mind.

There has only been one thing more difficult in this life than relationships for me, and that has been being human. If you look at that in reverse, you can see a resistance in being human that can easily lead to a difficulty in relationships with humans. My childhood makes logical sense on why it has been a struggle to accept being human, but it goes deeper than that for me. I’ve really felt that way since birth. In Human Design, I bear by design the incarnation cross called the “Right Angle Cross of Eden 3”: one who is upset about being cast out of Eden and put into this world…and boy do I ever resonate with that. It also speaks that over time, I carry the energy to go out and explore the world, finding a slice of Eden here and sharing it with those around me. I feel it in my soul, that I am here to create Heaven on Earth in a way that I then share with others, and understand that it is going to be an evolution to do so. I do have moments, to this day, of questioning why I’m human, but they are becoming less and less, as I open up more. The Gift of Humanity in the 36th Gene Key is about going through great suffering, and in turn, understanding and accepting the suffering of being human and to hold space for others in doing so. The tandem work of the Gift in the 6th Key, Diplomacy, brings these two frequencies up simultaneously when letting go of victimhood and being able to communicate clearly with others…

Two lines in A Course in Miracles - Chapter 10, Paragraph 14, lines 8 and 9:

“Time and eternity cannot both be real, because they contradict each other. If you will accept only what is timeless as real, you will begin to understand eternity and make it yours.”

These are lines that I only just recently read and highlighted, shared during a study session on Wednesday, and that once again came to mind just one day later.

Yesterday, I was having another spiritual conversation with my Mom, jumping into thoughts, feelings, emotions…her recollections of certain experiences with my late father…the journey in this life…when I was compelled to pull up her Gene Keys Hologenetic Profile to share with her the paragraphs that detail her Activation Sequence. Being that there is a deep and profound draw for myself to my own profile and the words written within, I wanted to share these with her. Rather than just printing it off and handing it to her, I asked her to listen as I read them each out loud. I tried not to have any expectations, but I was also hoping that she would connect with something that would validate her travelled path at this time. As I began reading, I saw her immediately feeling into the words…

You’re driving in your car, heading home from an appointment at the doctor’s office. All the tasks and errands for the rest of the day are running through your mind. I got the appointment done. Check. Just need to feed and walk the dog, pay this bill, mail that letter, and prepare dinner. You arrive at your house, and as you’re pulling into your driveway, a sheer panic sets over you. I don’t remember the last few miles of driving home! Did I stop at red lights and stop signs? How the hell did I even get here?…

I am down in the rabbit hole of Tarot, reflecting on the cards in the Rider-Waite tarot deck. The Fool’s Journey, as told by the Major Arcana group of the deck, is compelling to the inner being when the story is being shown. As I was glancing over the second card in the Major Arcana, The Magician, I was drawn to the visual expression of the phrase that has been spoken several times recently: “As Above, So Below”. If you look at the card, The Magician has a hand holding a double-tipped wand that is raised up pointing to the sky, while the other hand has a finger that is pointing down…