A couple of those sentences really stick out for me:

1) We will not attain the perfection our mind is looking for.

It is quite the hit to the mind when it understands that the Core Wound flavor of Gene Key 18 is Judgment, and the Siddhi is Perfection itself, to have an upfront understanding that the Siddhi will not be obtained as the mind would see it.

2) The Gift frequency is where the Holy Grail lives.

The Gift of 18 is Integrity. There is such perfection in integrity, such purity. There is also a lot of integrity missing in society. We’ve gone away from the core of who we are in order to fulfill societal expectations, achieve status that society pedestalizes, and obtain material belongings for the sake of how we are perceived by others as a way to give us a sense of belonging and connection. There are a lot of people who have struggled with split energy, myself included, over living within this system because it is what IS, and staying in integrity to self when it pulls us away from what we know to be.

As mentioned above, the SQ opening triggers the vulnerability of the Vocation. For me, the SQ is 23, the Gift of Simplicity. I have felt this in my body…the release of complexity, the letting go of things that did not resonate, the return to simple focus of what makes me energized and excited and light up…coincides perfectly with being in integrity. Things feel complex when we have to “make them happen”, or “fight for things to work”. They feel complex, in part, when we are attempting to make other’s journeys fit ours in order to maintain connections or some of the benefits we receive from others. There is a fine line, yet such a difference, between forcing things to work to maintain our integrity, and focusing on our integrity and lettings things fall into alignment with it. I learned that I do not want anyone in my life that doesn’t want to be there, and vice versa. I do not want to get involved in engagements, commitments, or activities where my integrity is compromised. I’ve worked on honoring my “no” when that is the answer that comes from within. “No” has become my default, for anything that doesn’t feel like my soul jumped towards it. For me, starting from a baseline of minimalism and simplicity is helpful, so that listening to the intuition is not drowned out by all the information coming in when wide open…

As a refresher, my Purpose sphere is the 11.5. Gene Key 11 goes from the Shadow of Obscurity, through the Gift of Idealism, to the Siddhi of Light. However, in this sequence, this sphere’s line 5 theme is “The Victim/The Leader”.

The Victim role plays very much into obscurity, as it is all about being wrapped up in the mind. I’ve been there many times in my life, stuck in my head, thinking things through logically - approaching brick walls in the logic and feeling dejected. This has been a process in relationships, and even potential relationships, in my life. I utilize what I would come to know as a power of this 11th key and see all the potentials for a relationship, and if none of them were satisfactory, I would not even entertain it at all. If there was a potential that interested me and I chose to open up to the relationship, and then it ended in a way other than the potential, I would get lost in the head questioning myself and my beliefs. I saw this potential! It’s there! How did this go wrong? I communicated the desire for this potential, and it was reciprocated then…I did everything I could to ensure that the potential was realized. What did I miss? Was I not good enough? I’m no one’s cup of tea. You name it, I thought it. I experienced the emotions of those thoughts. Yet, lost in the obscurity of those thoughts, the beliefs that came from them. Disconnected from my inner being. Disconnected from the light and the idealism within this gift.

The Leader in this line comes through first and foremost when leading the self through the misery of obscurity, back into alignment. The obscurity provides great lessons on importance, value, owning self, healthy boundaries and more. It’s through this dip that the Leader can take the ideal paths presented with the gift of the 11 and hold the hand of self and walk together out of shadow. In the face of what seems like insurmountable chasms, this Leader allows divinity to provide mystical bridges that dissolve the mental cage of limitations and show that not only are potentials possible, but that they can be realized through alignment…

The Purpose sphere in the Activation Sequence - what deeply fulfills me. My Purpose sphere is the 11.5. Gene Key 11 goes from the Shadow of Obscurity, through the Gift of Idealism, to the Siddhi of Light. The 5th line in this sphere is about voice and frequency.

I certainly spent much of my life in obscurity. When I had already started off life by feeling like I was supposed to be somewhere else, it was a focus on all things outside of me. I think that’s natural as people come into this world, discovering all that this life is about…but all I had to go on INSIDE of me was a deep sense of being lost; so instead of paying attention to my internal feelings, I focused on trying to figure out what was going on externally. This was compounded by a volatile home environment in childhood, to where anticipation and anxiety and stress of what will go on around me became normal. It shouldn’t be this way, I thought. There were times I simply felt forgotten. When my parents would drop my brothers and I off at our grandma’s for the weekend, and it became almost every weekend, I caught on to what was their focus at the time. When I entered a 5k fun run around 6 years old with one of my brothers, and at the shot of the gun to start the race my brother took off leaving me in a sea of strangers, I began to cry and sat down by a tree.

This led to the creation of beliefs about myself, my value and existence, and ironically one of those was that I wasn’t creative. I’d see my mother, brothers, and friends paint and draw with a natural skill, and so I tried to as well - and it just didn’t go well. When I was young, if a blank canvas or white paper was put in front of me and I was prompted to paint or draw something, I couldn’t come up with anything at all. I wondered how it was possible that people did this…to create from seeming scratch, through their mind. Maybe I’m just not meant to be creative either. Every way that I WAS creative, I dismissed it from being creative, as if it wasn’t good enough to be creative. I did that…

Apples don’t fall far from the tree.

You’ve heard of this expression, no? It seems that more often than not, there is a negative connotation to this expression…one of when there is a perceived flaw, or bad behavior, or troubles, or lack of ambition and so on in children, they are deemed guilty by association to their parents or caregivers. While there is truth to a certain degree in this, there is an even deeper truth that lies within this expression, and it is one of hope and love…

Music is sent from radio station transmitters, through the air in the form of radio waves, 24/7. Not a single one of our five basic human senses experience the presence of those waves to know the contents. However, a receiver accepts those waves and outputs the music through speakers, to which our hearing sense then experiences the music.

We live in a physical world where we have become accustomed to relying on these five basic senses to tell us what exists, and what is “real”. Music sent over radio waves is one example, of many, that shows that things exist beyond our five senses. You can’t “tell” in your daily life that the radio waves are there, with music as the payload, but they are. Even if you don’t “believe” they are there, they are. You could walk around with the hard belief that because you don’t see/hear/smell/taste/touch them, then they don’t exist...but they do…

There are so many fascinating works of architecture, art, technology, tools and more, on this Earth and throughout history. These mankind-made items came from thoughts and ideas, and through inspired focus and action, the energy aligned into physical manifestation. That sounds scientific, but it’s true. All that we see as physical objects is energy that took shape into something that mind, body and soul created…