Apples and Trees
Apples don’t fall far from the tree.
You’ve heard of this expression, no? It seems that more often than not, there is a negative connotation to this expression…one of when there is a perceived flaw, or bad behavior, or troubles, or lack of ambition and so on in children, they are deemed guilty by association to their parents or caregivers. While there is truth to a certain degree in this, there is an even deeper truth that lies within this expression, and it is one of hope and love.
I am one who holds the belief that we choose our parents or caregivers. We plan through a soul contract, the family that we will be born into. We do so very meticulously. The reason why is because we want to be placed in the most optimal environment for the lessons we plan on learning when we come here to Earth. Like chemists, we mix the perfect concoction of ingredients together to achieve a state that will support the desired outcome in the experiment. Then, we come into this physical life, and we begin the process of learning to live in this conditioned system at the same time that we are trying to remember why we are here.
On the surface, it would seem that this supports the negative connotation that the expression seems to hold. After all, contrast is often “negative”, or felt as a negative emotion, and contrast is needed in order to learn the lessons planned. So is it, then, that we specifically chose “broken” parents in order to be “broken” in the same way as well? That doesn’t sound very hopeful and loving. On the surface, sure, you could look at it that way. Yet, life isn’t worth living simply on the surface. The foam on the top of a cappuccino doesn’t quite represent the taste of the coffee beneath it. Let’s take a bigger sip.
In this society, negativity claims the attention and is displayed as newsworthy, so we tend to glaze over the positives. It can be especially difficult to see the positives, if one was born into a dysfunctional household. The early years in a dysfunctional home are a display of everything that we do not want to be, do, or have. It is evident to a child when dysfunction exists; it is innately felt through the vibrations. Sometimes it takes leaving that environment when old enough and having space to reflect and see the parents/caregivers in a different light. In cases like this, we find over time that once we pass through that top layer of supposed “pain and torture”, there ARE positive attributes that may have been overshadowed. It can come as a struggle within ourselves, if we had built up an internal identity of our parents/caregivers that they were pure negativity, pure contrast. When that is happening, a resolution of split energy within is needed in order to be authentic in our perspective of the whole picture.
Other times, if we are at a place in life where we are not totally consumed by the environment during those early years, we are able to see a bit more clearly. I was fortunate enough to be able to see a little bit of both attributes at an early age in my environment, which allowed me to have some compassion in addressing feelings directly, as well as start to define what I wanted for my future based on the contrast I experienced. This did not take away the contrast, and it did not mean that I saw all of the positives right away. As a matter of fact, as time went on and people aged, further conversations were had that resulted in increased awareness of circumstances, situations, and perspectives. If you are blessed to have the ability, as an adult child, to have deeper conversations with your parents or caregivers - the kind that touch the soul - I encourage you to do so. You are now at a higher point on the spiral staircase of life, seeing things from a more experienced point of view, and can shed light not only on the contrast you lived as a child through them, but also insight into their inner beings and what has driven them. You begin to see the positive aspects. You can approach with grace and compassion, as you know that we are all spiritual beings living human experiences. If you are not able to have these conversations with your parents or caregivers, that is also OK as well. The path may not be as clear, but there is still good to be uncovered.
This tree that we as an apple fell from, it doesn’t hold our parents/caregivers as the roots. It goes back many, many generations. When we crafted our plan of parents/caregivers, we opted into not just their family, but an ancestral lineage. The lineage we chose all plays a part in our experiences and lessons. We opted into all the cumulative experiences, wisdom, knowledge, growth and expansion that our ancestors lived. There are not only positive aspects, but there are gifts and abilities that we chose to utilize through such lineages. Some creative examples to give an idea…have you ever heard people say things such as:
“Your mother is a strong-willed, determined woman that makes things happen, and I can see that in you as well.“
“I love my country and got my desire to protect it from my grandfather. He was a veteran who served his country, making us all proud, and I’m following in his footsteps because I feel the same way inside.”
“I’m a third-generation psychic medium. It’s in the family, and we help bring messages from passed loved ones to those in need of them.”
The gifts, abilities, and positive attributes carried down through the ancestral lineage that we are born into, are ones that will best equip us to handle the contrast we experience, as well as to create the new experiences for our growth as a result of that contrast. Much like the magical complexity of how the human body is designed to function to the best of its needs - automatically processing foods, controlling blood flow, circulating oxygen, repairing skin cuts, and so on - our gifts are there to function to the best of our creative desires. We may not even be consciously aware of this, if we haven’t begun the remembering. Don’t fret though, as contrast will show us where to look.
Think about the souls who suffered dysfunction and depression, turned to an instrument and churned out songs that ended up touching and inspiring millions of people around the world. Think about the souls who experienced abuse as a child, and became child protection workers, increasing consciousness around the nurturing of children. Think of the souls who wondered how to get in touch with people on the other side of the world quicker, and developed telephones and the Internet to create instantaneous connection.
The contrast may be a little different for each person, but there is a concoction of contrast that will, at some point in your physical life, result in the specific gifts within you to show themselves. You will know what they are, because they will call to you from your soul. You will light up in almost the literal sense: a surge of energy will go through you that others will call a “glow”. When you feel this feeling inside, don’t bypass it. Don’t suppress it. Allow yourself to be seen for what you authentically are. These gifts came from those before, in addition to what you have built up yourself previously, in order to create the growth your soul came here for. Big or small. Whether it is to create something mankind has never seen, or it is to break the ancestral mold for dysfunction in your family, it is important for your soul’s growth either way, and nothing is any less important than the other. Coming here as an individual with your own unique perspective, you are blessed with the power of love and the notion that no one else is walking your path, so there is no competition, no rush from external factors, and that the growth you experience uniquely only adds to the collective experience.
You didn’t fall far from the tree on purpose. You fell close enough to still be able to see what the tree gave you; yet you fell free so that once you learned what you were given, you could go out and create your own in the orchard of life.