“My Core sphere holds Gene Key 18.5. Gene Key 18 goes from the Shadow of Judgment, through the Gift of Integrity, to the Siddhi of Perfection. The 5th line in this sphere is “Guilt/Forgiveness”.

This key, in this sphere…whewwwww. The 18th key also governs the mental body (IQ sphere, in which mine is 64.2, so imagine how judgment also leads to confusion and plays into the whole mental trap). It is said that the 18th shadow has a built-in need to challenge authority, and that this process really begins when we enter that 3rd trimester of 14-21 years of age (IQ sphere). I certainly challenged authority of my parents, especially because they lived a way I did not ever want to…”

The Purpose sphere in the Activation Sequence - what deeply fulfills me. My Purpose sphere is the 11.5. Gene Key 11 goes from the Shadow of Obscurity, through the Gift of Idealism, to the Siddhi of Light. The 5th line in this sphere is about voice and frequency.

I certainly spent much of my life in obscurity. When I had already started off life by feeling like I was supposed to be somewhere else, it was a focus on all things outside of me. I think that’s natural as people come into this world, discovering all that this life is about…but all I had to go on INSIDE of me was a deep sense of being lost; so instead of paying attention to my internal feelings, I focused on trying to figure out what was going on externally. This was compounded by a volatile home environment in childhood, to where anticipation and anxiety and stress of what will go on around me became normal. It shouldn’t be this way, I thought. There were times I simply felt forgotten. When my parents would drop my brothers and I off at our grandma’s for the weekend, and it became almost every weekend, I caught on to what was their focus at the time. When I entered a 5k fun run around 6 years old with one of my brothers, and at the shot of the gun to start the race my brother took off leaving me in a sea of strangers, I began to cry and sat down by a tree.

This led to the creation of beliefs about myself, my value and existence, and ironically one of those was that I wasn’t creative. I’d see my mother, brothers, and friends paint and draw with a natural skill, and so I tried to as well - and it just didn’t go well. When I was young, if a blank canvas or white paper was put in front of me and I was prompted to paint or draw something, I couldn’t come up with anything at all. I wondered how it was possible that people did this…to create from seeming scratch, through their mind. Maybe I’m just not meant to be creative either. Every way that I WAS creative, I dismissed it from being creative, as if it wasn’t good enough to be creative. I did that…

Take what resonates and leave the rest.

This is a phrase often heard in spirituality teachings. Like many other sayings, it can be blown right past if not paid attention to. What does it really mean, and is it really applicable? I’ll explain, and yes…

Apples don’t fall far from the tree.

You’ve heard of this expression, no? It seems that more often than not, there is a negative connotation to this expression…one of when there is a perceived flaw, or bad behavior, or troubles, or lack of ambition and so on in children, they are deemed guilty by association to their parents or caregivers. While there is truth to a certain degree in this, there is an even deeper truth that lies within this expression, and it is one of hope and love…

As we know, we are conditioned by society when we come into this physical life, to live certain ways, eat certain things, follow certain traditions, believe in certain beliefs, and so on. In infancy and very early youth, we don’t give thought to it, we simply comply with implicit trust from anyone near that this “is how life is”, because it’s what we see, feel, hear, taste and touch around us. We have a sort of soul connection amnesia going on, and it is as if there’s a brain fog that prevents us from remembering who we really are. Eventually, little sections of that fog start to clear away, and this is when we start questioning aspects of our lives and how we are living them at the time. What causes the fog to start clearing away? This is a fun one for me to connect…

This blog turned out to be a deeply inspired poem that poured out of my soul. Enjoy.

Did I miss a stop
When arriving at this place?
Did I sign on the dotted line
Of a contract for a soul with the wrong face?

Born into a family of partying
Smoking, drinking, loud music galore
It was easy for me to sense the pain
In the windows to their souls and behind their heart’s door…

I am down in the rabbit hole of Tarot, reflecting on the cards in the Rider-Waite tarot deck. The Fool’s Journey, as told by the Major Arcana group of the deck, is compelling to the inner being when the story is being shown. As I was glancing over the second card in the Major Arcana, The Magician, I was drawn to the visual expression of the phrase that has been spoken several times recently: “As Above, So Below”. If you look at the card, The Magician has a hand holding a double-tipped wand that is raised up pointing to the sky, while the other hand has a finger that is pointing down…

I asked my son Jasper if he wanted to contribute to my blogs by picking the title for the next one.  He said, “Sure!  Let’s call it... *pauses for thought* ...’Searching for Souls.’”  I was delighted AND impressed!  I asked what the topic of the blog would be about, and he said “trying to use psychic powers to speak to spirits and locate them.”  I’m thinking that he might become a co-writer in the not so distant future…