As we leave the Purpose sphere, to get to the Attraction sphere we cross the Pathway of Dharma:

The Sunless Sea meditation is a great resource for travelling on this pathway, and it can be found here: Sunless Sea - Gene Keys

My Attraction sphere holds Gene Key 2.4. Gene Key 2 goes from the Shadow of Dislocation, through the Gift of Orientation, to the Siddhi of Unity. The 4th line in this sphere is about Frigidity and Romance.

The perception of Dislocation is a work of art. If I were to put on a ViewMaster (80’s kids know what I’m talking about) and review the slides of my life in this incarnation, I could recall countless times where I thought I was lost, or out of place, or not connected at all to anything around me. Watching people partake in substances, doing things, groups and groups of them all over acting in certain ways that all seemed like they bonded over these aspects and enjoyed their lives, and yet there I am observing on the outside thinking, “what’s wrong with me? Why don’t I like that? Why don’t I fit in? Why don’t I seem good enough? Why don’t I have interest in what the majority of people around me have interest in?” When the numbers aren’t in your favor, you certainly question yourself. The questioning for me rooted in wanting to connect, wanting to belong, wanting to enjoy life…but also knowing that what I was experiencing was not it for me.

This is the art of Dislocation. This illusion brings us to places of despair, places of emptiness, of feeling broken. Yet is it through that brokenness that is the very answer being given. The breaking through of the illusion around you, and opening up to the truth within you. For me, trying things to connect with those around me when there was no sense of belonging, only led me further into self-inquiry. It was MY experience that was different than those around me, so why is that? What was the part of me that was looking for something different, something more aligned with self (even though I wasn’t aware of this in those moments)? Irony showed up in the times where I looked to match other’s frequency in order to connect, only to feel more lost than I did when I was simply being and observing the differences around me. Hidden in plain sight of this abstract art is the lesson of authenticity…of discovering self. Without the contrast of society and circumstances, there may never be the inquisition of self.

There is also what I feel is a direct link between being dislocated and being frigid in the context of relationships, especially with the layer of illusions of where the dislocation and frigidity is. When I’ve felt not connected in relationships, I became hyper-attuned to the frigidity of the other - and it wasn’t untrue…but what I had to acknowledge was the possibility that I was dislocated, and frigidity comes by nature in that case as well. Yearning for closeness and intimacy, especially with this 4th line, I’d dislocate for the sake of connection, and ultimately ice myself from my own alignment, perpetuating the sense of being on the outside. I did this several times in life because of this desire for unity. I hadn’t experienced where I could be rooted in my authenticity, attracting from that magnetism, and maintain a relationship from that place.

This self deep-dive is the activation of the gift of Orientation. For me, it was about the awareness, and not the actions, that allowed shifts to start taking place. To feel the frigidity in another, and imagine what frigidity from myself might feel like to another, I would go introspective. However, this was from a different point of view. Instead of asking myself “What did I do wrong? How can I make them happy?" and paradoxically focusing on externals when I think I’m focusing on self, I actually began to start with the connection betweeh human me and the inner being me. I know what it feels like to be “cut off” and “distanced” from others, even if in the same room. To feel that feeling inside, I knew I was first and foremost cutting myself off from my own love. Note: this is a distinctly different feeling than to be aligned internally and THEN crossing paths with people we don’t resonate with. In the case of being connected and observing non-resonance, my experience is that there is no internal sense of frigidity happening, no distance felt in ME…only acknowledgement of people listening to different radio stations.

This “cut off” feeling is the equivalent of having a clogged pipe, or an energetic blockage that isn’t reaching the heart, as Michael Singer noted in “Living Untethered”. Orientation to me starts with getting your own energy flowing through your own heart again. Releasing blockages, clearing paths, allowing energy to flow in and out of your body. It is the thawing of the frozen heart, because the shield is no longer needed. It is the welcoming of love throughout, and being open to receiving from others. When I found myself feeling non-resonant with most people and things around me, I knew I needed to really go within and begin a slow romance with self. The 4th line wants to be romanced, and it wants to romance. It craves this very deep connection and belonging that feels innate, and doesn’t want to force things to happen otherwise. It knows that it is better to be aligned and then welcoming of other aligned connections, but that it needs to know what alignment feels like first, to understand what alignment feels like with another.

Thus, I began romancing myself. Literally. If I wanted to go eat at a restaurant or go see a specific movie, I went. Alone. Because I wanted to. When I felt inspired to go to a spiritual center and partake in classes, and discussions, I did so. For me. When I joined groups, and did videos and web conferences, and had multi-hour phone calls with individuals to talk about spirituality and all aspects around it, I honored that lit up part of myself. When I wanted to do absolutely nothing and talk to no one, I did just that. I began holding boundaries that are true to me without guilt or shame, like not wanting to partake in nightlife because I have no desire to drink alcohol or smoke or go clubbing. I began taking random trips to different places when I wanted to, because I wanted to. I give myself the time and space to write these blogs when they arise out of me. All of these things are still part of my life and arise at any moment, and I honor them as I value my internal connection.

Also along this path of Orientation, I have experienced so many synchronicities. We often look for these to tell us we are on the right path, even though we could potentially be approaching that from a place of dislocation…but I’ve seen many organic synchronicities. People showing up, saying the right things at the right time. Yellow Jeep Wranglers when out and about and either in discussion with someone about a topic or in a mental contemplation about something, as the Yellow Wrangler would appear, and I give my standard, “Thank you, Universe” response. I already appreciated synchronicities as a fun, magical happening, but these days they have the flavor of being in the frequency for attracting what resonates with my soul.

It is no surprise that the Gene Keys book speaks in the space of Orientation about another indicator of rising awareness residing in the 8th Gift of Style. The 2nd and the 8th Gene Keys together form the Codon Ring of Water, which is all about the journey of self-realization. This is no surprise, because the 8th key is in Chiron in my natal chart. The shadow of the 8th key is Mediocrity. Imagine attempting to blend in and belong because you feel the lack of it (I did), yet an innate force inside rejects this because it knows it is unique. The 8th Gift of Style is about expressing your uniqueness for all that it is, differentiating yourself organically and letting your authenticity attract what is meant to be in your experience.

I am only scratching the surface of tapping into my Style within Orientation, so I can only speak of glimpses of the Siddhi of Unity and it’s counterpart of Exquisiteness. If you were attentive in the reading of above, you could infer that I have rebellion in me…and the 8th key includes a healthy rebellion. As Chiron in astrology is about core wounds to heal from, and to further emphasize the correlation for me, I have Chiron in the 11th house in Taurus, which is a blend about self-worth and not fitting in, not belonging. I resonate with this sense of a wound from not belonging, but a rebellion to be ME. The work is in recognizing my authenticity as I come to see it, live it, and attract from it…and being able to utilize the work I’ve done to help others see their authenticity along the way. I have the Chiron placement to thank for that, but I really feel that this applies to all human beings. If we could all truly take the way we feel when we are in alignment and are authentic - that warm flush, the goosebumps, the elation, the joy - and unite with others from that place, just imagine the sensation combining those energies would feel like.

Just as the 2nd Siddhi of Unity explodes with the realization of union of all things, and the 8th Siddhi of Exquisitness is the shining beauty of one’s uniqueness, these two intertwine under the notion that the 2nd is open to receiving, while the 8th asks no one to follow it. The 8th doesn’t tell anyone to live a particular way or believe in a particular thing, but rather it encourages each to be exquisite in their own way. The 2 wants to come together in union with one that naturally, organically resonates at the soul. The 2 puts itself in position for that by living in its authenticity, expressing its own unique style. I’m on my way in that, slowly. When it comes to intimate relationships, I require a slow love in union, and romance. Like pot roast or beef stew in a slow cooker - get the ingredients into one pot and let it intertwine through time. Not to overplay an image I’ve spoken of in the past that is a pure representation of what that is to me, but this is it. It is on my wall, seen every day, and felt down into my essence. Two souls down to their authenticity, coming together in union:

In every other type of relationship, I aspire to attract that as well. Authenticity coming together in union, to co-create whatever comes through. I know when I’m dislocated, and I can sense that in others. May the synchronicities in alignment draw us together along the way, and may we enjoy each step as it comes. In the meantime, I’m cleaning out my pipes, clearing blockages, and keeping the romance alive within.