Snapshots
Something different…this is a collection of snapshots - energies and emotions captured in randomly chosen personal moments throughout my life thus far.
My brothers and I went to a Wednesday night kids version of a church service, to try to not think too much about Dad being in the hospital. Then afterwards, were told that Dad turned blue like a blueberry, and needed to be life-flighted to Cleveland Clinic. I knew that only happened in the worst cases.
Many people fear the loss of a relationship. I had been through it before, and knew what was on the other side. This time, it was the real acceptance of what was on the other side, when authentic to self…the genuine solitude. No one else there. No one coming. Just me. The kind where you walk the way you’re led internally, and no one knows the directions but you. A vast dark stillness all around.
“You have such a kind and pure heart”
Me: “Does that come through the writing?”
“Not necessarily”
“Your eyes”
This feeling filled my heart, through my chest, spreading outwards…my eyes with tears. My reply to the comment was just that, the teary-eyed emoji. I couldn’t remember a time where my inner being gave my body the feeling of “I feel seen” in such a way.
As I passed by Juno while walking to the kitchen, I glanced at her and she winked. I stopped, and looked at her…wondering who I was really looking at.
I was six, and my Grandma told me that when my older brother was younger, he once went up to her and said, “Hey Gramma…what’s a ‘bassard’?” She said to him, “where did you hear that?” She said that his response was, “that’s what mommy called me.” That hurt me.
I was meditating during my Reiki I attunement, and I began levitating into the air. I looked down, and I was directly above Machu Picchu. I knew because I visited Machu Picchu in the 3D, 8 years prior. Some of the same vibrations were flowing through me in meditation, but I noticed no fear at all in being so far up in the air with nothing for a safety net.
It was in the moment that the smile happened, that I realized this was a person I had dreamt about years before. Such a dilemma, to have a surreal experience of a physical manifestation of a once non-physical person, and everyone in the room outside of myself wouldn’t have understood a thing if I were to say the words that wanted to come out…”it’s YOU!!!”
The last conversation with Grandma was about making sure that we would be alright as a family before she leaves this Earth, to which I said OK. I didn’t know that would be the last conversation, until the next time I went to her house to visit her and was met with a semi-blank stare and a load moaning sound coming from her mouth…she would speak no more words again.
I checked out at the grocery store, and the clerk bagged my groceries. I got home and began putting them away, to find a few steaks in my bags that I did not buy. I took them to the local shelter and donated them. I went back to the store within a week, and at the checkout as my groceries were being bagged, I observed a couple bags already sitting there and thought “is this happening again…really?”. Those bags were put with my bags again, and I said nothing…just went home. Sure enough, more steaks and another cut of meat. I felt as if the spotlight was on, beams focusing and yet tethered from above. And again, I returned to the shelter. Same person accepted the delivery and said, “again?!?” with a wink and a smile.
I was encouraged to go with the first thing that pops up or comes to me, that nothing is “crazy” or wrong. In a psychometry class, I held a set of keys on a keychain and closed my eyes. I began seeing a fire all around me, followed by big arrows on the ground lighting up in different directions one at a time, and then I saw a giant cross. I gave Rick his keys and stated what I saw while also saying it’s “very odd, but here it goes”, and he said, paraphrasing, “That’s right. There was a fire at my workplace, and I was guided out of the building to where there was a church across the street.”