To go from the sphere of Life’s Work, to the sphere of Evolution, we traverse the Pathway of Challenge:

A beautiful description about the relationship of these two spheres, from Gene Keys:

“Your Hologenetic Profile is calculated from the time and place of your birth and in particular from the position of the sun when you were born. And opposite the sun we find the earth, the place from which we look up into the heavens to locate our place in the space-time continuum. It is this polarity that we come into the world with, and they are known as your Life’s Work and your Evolution. Your Life’s Work is dictated symbolically by the sun, the yang force of energy, and your Evolution is dictated symbolically by the earth, the yin force of matter. Whereas your Life’s Work is the expression of what you do, your Evolution is the turbine that drives what you do. The earthbound sphere of your Evolution tugging against that solar fire of your Life’s Work is what sets up the basic tension that writes the script of your life”.

This Pathway of Challenge, then, is to go inside of the Shadow of these two spheres and release the tension between them to bring forth the higher Gift frequencies, in order to evolve into the person needed to be of the service you came here for.

The Evolution sphere - what I’m here to learn. My Evolution sphere is the 36.3. Gene Key 36 goes from the Shadow of Turbulence through the Gift of Humanity to the Siddhi of Compassion. The keynotes for Line 3 when it comes to the Evolution sphere are “Energy and Experience” - that it is about the experiences had, and not the destination - and to “break out of need for attention/approval by doing things without agenda.” In the first blog of the series, I mentioned that I was born into an emotionally turbulent environment, and full of conflict. Conflict and Turbulence being the Shadow frequencies of these two spheres for me, it has been easy to see how these themes have played their roles from the start, and the desire to climb out of them. As a young child in that environment, I went through the repressive nature of the 36 - Nervousness. Trying to resist the turbulence happening outside, in addition to trying to find peace at any cost. At that period of life and in those situations, getting peace was whatever pleased the parents enough to diffuse their volatility, or getting away. There was constant anticipation of what could happen next. Of course, the external turbulence and conflict back then was out of my control, and I didn’t know that there was nothing I could do to release and integrate these energies for others - that was their work - but I also didn’t have the presence of mind to allow myself to feel the turbulence and release it. I was scared too many times, and nothing was changing it for the better. It was an automatic anxiety, a tensing up, whenever alcohol or any other substance was in the picture. Protect myself. The work later on became being aware of the patterned bodily reactions showing up when the environment was no longer the same, but similar energy in others was present. Through progression and time, I have practiced becoming the observer of these nervous and anxious energies inside of me when they surface, or when I’m confronted with them from the external…and grasping that I am not those energies, I am experiencing them. From this stable, calm, peaceful place of observation, I am able to respond with clarity, while creating and upholding boundaries to not allow myself to accept responsibility for what comes from the external; this is being able to release the tension and respond from an internal authority rather than the anxious mind.

There has only been one thing more difficult in this life than relationships for me, and that has been being human. If you look at that in reverse, you can see a resistance in being human that can easily lead to a difficulty in relationships with humans. My childhood makes logical sense on why it has been a struggle to accept being human, but it goes deeper than that for me. I’ve really felt that way since birth. In Human Design, I bear by design the incarnation cross called the “Right Angle Cross of Eden 3”: one who is upset about being cast out of Eden and put into this world…and boy do I ever resonate with that. It also speaks that over time, I carry the energy to go out and explore the world, finding a slice of Eden here and sharing it with those around me. I feel it in my soul, that I am here to create Heaven on Earth in a way that I then share with others, and understand that it is going to be an evolution to do so. I do have moments, to this day, of questioning why I’m human, but they are becoming less and less, as I open up more. The Gift of Humanity in the 36th Gene Key is about going through great suffering, and in turn, understanding and accepting the suffering of being human and to hold space for others in doing so. The tandem work of the Gift in the 6th Key, Diplomacy, brings these two frequencies up simultaneously when letting go of victimhood and being able to communicate clearly with others.

This shift leads into the Siddhi of Compassion. Once again, the encapsulation of this frequency is notated from the Gene Keys book:

“Those in whom this Siddhi has awakened tend to keep moving into those areas of life where the light is most darkened. They usually flourish during periods of crisis or war, or live and work among the poor and wretched. The 36th Siddhi goes on longing to explore the frontiers of consciousness within form, and after a certain point it ceases to care or identify with its own security at all. Anyone manifesting the 36th Siddhi has at some point sunk into such a dark space of helplessness themselves that it is impossible for them to experience anything as intense again. This has the effect of annihilating all fear from their system, so that true peace emanates from within them. The simple presence of such people and the look in their eyes or the softness of their voice can trigger all manner of so-called miracles in those whom they meet. These are the most heart-melting people to ever walk the face of the earth. Wherever they go, the true frequency latent within human suffering is immediately released and compassion tears open people’s chests and explodes inside their hearts. Even the darkest of natures can be instantaneously brought to tears through the presence of this 36th Siddhi.”

I have experienced glimpses of this Siddhic state of Compassion throughout the years. I have been through several Dark Nights of the Soul, to the places of nothingness…to where it feels like the screen where this life’s movie is projected upon is ripped open and you see that what is behind it is just a wall. The depths of these contemplations that feel beyond dark, going beyond fear, to the point of…silence. I once encountered a version of this during meditation, where I floated in outer space as we know it. While there were lights of stars all around in the distance, it was mostly dark and harmoniously quiet. It just WAS. Think about that for a moment: Not one iota of the hustle and bustle on Earth mattered. None of the plants, buildings, even people, were present. None of the societal drive for money, or status, or fame. None of the worries of the daily life and how I was going to survive, let alone thrive. None of it. The paradox of being in what feels like such a crisis in life taking you to a place where you let go of everything and return to the focus on consciousness itself, and how that is exactly where we are all connected and the place where compassion is conceived from. This is the pairing of the Siddhic frequencies of the 36 and 6 in fusion: compassion coming from a place of peace.

This struggle with being human is real for me. When it comes to romantic relationships - I have had to grasp that I am one that partially does not want to be here on Earth, yet also desires to be intertwined in the soul all the way up through the physical and sexual layers as a human. This split energy still lives inside of me, but I do not suppress it anymore in attempts to create and maintain such relationships. I do not live on the surface and “of this society”. This I know complicates things, but I’m owning this part of my experience and existence as I feel it. I am not desiring to complicate a single thing, as I appreciate and enjoy simplicity. The complications come as a result of my essence. The practice of letting go and focusing on restoring a state of peace is what helps me to allow the flow of life to come and go without clinging or resisting (and thus trapping energy). It is also from this place of peace that I began practicing saying yes to only the people, places and things that light me up. Of course, all of this also applies to all other relationships in life…letting them be what they are and appreciating them for that as experiences.

This evolution of mine…it truly is what I’m here to learn…and I am.